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Cougar or Soulmate?

indian-woman-with-cougar-226x300 painting by Susan Seddon Boulet

Before we begin, let me state what this article is NOT about.  I am not writing about female psychic vampires, or women seeking sex (only) with younger men (adults and minors), or dysfunctional women who enjoy one upmanship power struggles with younger males. Whew!  Now that we have THAT off the table….moving right along…..

And a quick hint: the gender is really irrelevant to this writing: I’ve found this issue among clients of same sex and clients where the male was older than the female.  I chose the “Cougar” title because that’s the most “heated” manifestation of this type of pairing.

Last month a 20- something- year -old college student came in for a psychic reading and asked about her mother’s younger fiancé.  I assured her that all was well. A week ago, this same client brought her mother who was in town visiting.  The mother asked her reading question, by writing it on a slip of paper and sliding it to me: “Is it ok that I’m about to marry my fiance? People are talking.”  It was as if she spoke the words out loud, doom would fall upon us both.  My heart sank for her.  The cards confirmed what I already knew in my heart, and I spoke words of empowerment to this brave soul.  She left with a weight lifted off her shoulders, and I hope she finds this article that is dedicated to her<3

How many people do you know that are truly soul mated?  What I’ve found is that most people don’t have the backbone or stamina to be with a soul mate. And so, they never find one. Everyone thinks they want a soul mate relationship–until they realize the work involved to maintain it.  Let me explain.

Often, people seek psychic readings to find out about their soul mate. They ask:  “Where is he?” “How will I know her when I find her?”  “Is my current partner a soul mate?”  “Can you fight and separate if you’re truly with your soul mate?’ Most people are very confused about soul mates: they do not understand exactly what a soul mate is and what a soul mate relationship entails. Hollywood has romanced us into thinking a soul mate is someone of: similar age, background, & race.  So we think, once we get all those things checked off our list, then we’ve truly found our soul mate and will live eternal bliss!  Sorry folks, that’s seldom the way it works. Soul mates are partners who formed a spiritual contract to help us on our evolving soul’s path.  They come into our lives not so much to create eternal bliss,(but that’s great if it’s the end result; read: end result).  The true purposes of a soul mate are to challenge us to grow AND to challenge society to grow.

Soul mate relationships are often weighted with obstacles, separations, and pain. Why? Because these relationships shine a flood light on our deepest wounds.  Unhealed core aspects that prematurely scabbed over are ripped open to truly heal.  Struggles, ie growth opportunities, come to serve YOU in healing your patterns.  No matter what it may seem like the soul mate is doing to you, they are merely a symbol pointing the way to your ultimate growth.  Because you recognize them from a soul level, you feel them deeply in your heart.  It’s not so simple as just running away from the uncomfortableness.  This is a lifelong connection that stays with you regardless of time, space, or distance.

As a mass consciousness, our species is being pushed, prodded and pulled to understand our true natures.  Our true nature is one of Spirit.  Spirit does not know age, race, or gender. Spirit does not know or care what society deems as acceptable.  Spirit only knows LOVE. Soul mate relationships push that agenda out into the light of cold harsh scrutiny.

I was single for 8 years and during that time I dated different soulmates, who were all younger than me.  I’ve always been a leading edge creator, so flying in opposition to society was nothing new to me.  The surprising factor was the way my closest friends harshly judged me.  At best, they treated me like I had a serious lapse of judgment, and at worst, they treated me like I was a child molestor! Once I became engaged to one of my younger male soulmates, ALL of my close friendships disappeared! Nevermind them, I continued to follow my own conscience and heart.  This is one of the BIGGEST challenges to a soul mate relationship: learning to STOP worrying about what others think!

The age difference between soul mates is quite common: I’ve heard stories of 7, 12, 19, 25 ,and even 30 year age differences.  The age indicates different generational factors coming up in the relationship, hence societal issues and MAJOR opportunities for growth!  Now, older men are seen as victors when they date younger women, so why are older women judged so harshly?

Two recurring issues come up about older women paired with younger men: her declining youthful beauty and the mother principle. The threat of a woman’s loss of beauty is fertile ground for media critique. Men are not diminished with increasing age, while maturing women are notoriously devalued. I’ve watched several comedic skits between older women and their younger mates. One such episode came from SNL. The skit involved then spouses Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, in which Demi was a hunched over, decrepid old woman while Ashton was still in his vibrant youth. Who can forget the culturally iconic, “The Graduate”, in which a mother seduces her daughter’s lover?  I have not seen any similar depictions where the gender roles were reversed.

The mother principle comes up in the female as she’s often past the childbearing age and/or seen as a replacement mother figure to her younger consort. Somehow, society sees the female as either a devouring or grooming influence on her lover’s life, while her older, male counterpart is celebrated as a virile, handsome benefactor to his younger mate.

So now that I’ve exposed the trials of this type of relationship, let me outline the benefits!  These benefits apply to you AND your mate:

  • Exciting new challenges to expand your growth
  • Fresh new perspectives that you’ve never considered
  • Opportunities to break out of your ruts
  • Capacity to lead society away from outdated  beliefs and toward true spiritual understanding
  • Ability to heal your own self esteem issues and  move into true self empowerment
  • Willingness to stand strong in your heart’s knowing
  • Ironically, cougars, or mountain lions, represent reclaiming one’s personal power and using leadership wisely

So now you know that your relationship IS legitimate:)  Why not cuddle up with your lover, pop in “When Stella Got Her Groove Back”, commit to your happiness, and let the haters stew in their own insecurities!! 🙂

Mystical Soul Mate Blessings,

Charis Farfalla

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at



Pisces: Rescuer, Victim or Mystic?


Recently, I noticed that the bulk of my life coach clients either had Pisces or Neptune prominent in their natal astrology charts. I began reflecting on my own Pisces/Neptune tendencies and revealed a common thread running amongst Piscean personalities:

  • extremely sensitive to energy; psychic, compassionate
  • feeling a need to rescue
  • weak or nonexistent boundaries: difficulty with time/space reality and separation from others
  • refusal to objectively look at the negative side of people and life
  • extremely gifted in creative pursuits and harnessing the imagination
  • deep mystical connection and understanding of Divine Onenes

Astrologically, prominent Pisces and Neptune shows up as: Pisces Sun, Moon, Saturn, Pisces on the cusp of 1,4,7,10 house angles and Neptune conjunct Sun, Moon, or on the 4 chart angles. All of these placements reveal a very Piscean temperament.  Pisces’ ruling planet is Neptune; thus, the energies are interchangeable.

Extremely sensitive to energy; psychic, compassionate

Because Pisces tend to feel everything, it can be difficult for them to let go of unhealthy patterns. They feel everyone’s emotions; they feel environmental energies; they tap into other species and other realms. Thus, my work first involves convincing them that they are not responsible for the world.  This can be extremely difficult for Pisces energy to understand because they feel things so closely that they own what they feel.  They do not understand they are merely filtering the energy surrounding them.

This hypersensitivity to people and the world pushes some Pisces to escape through alcohol, drugs, excessive sleeping, overeating and spacing out.  Escapism is a Neptune by-product and temporarily, yet painfully, numbs reality.

Feeling a need to recue

If the Neptunian person is trapped in a rescuer mentality, they eventually lapse into deep depression because this isn’t their true soul’s intention. Furthermore, the psychological transference of the rescuer role eventually becomes the victim role. The reason behind this negative outcome is that the rescuer disempowers the troubled other party because the rescuer perceives the victim as not capable of owning their creative power.

We are all gifted with the power to consciously, deliberately create our reality. This is what separates us from other earthly life forms. When a well-meaning person comes along and offers to rescue us from our own created reality, it goes against what our soul knows to be the truth of our personal power. A need to rescue may give rise to a Savior complex and a violation of others’ boundaries.  In all rescuer mentalities, I have found the rescuer to have a very strong need to be rescued.  They are merely projecting their own needs onto outside sources.

Weak non-existent boundaries

Due to Pisces nebulous otherworldly connection, they have no concept of healthy boundaries. Additionally, Pisces are typically born into situations where boundaries are nonexistent; thus, they aren’t taught proper boundaries. Instead, they are taught that it is wrong to expect reasonable boundaries. I always associate boundaries with Robert Frost’s quote, “Good fences make good neighbors.” Boundaries define respectful behavior in personal interactions between people and other living entities. We have physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual boundaries. So how do we know each other’s boundaries?

I was recently talking with a Pisces client about her deep seated beliefs. After she spoke a while, she said “But you’re a psychic, you already know all these things about me,” and I replied, “Just because I have the ability to read you does not give me the permission to freely scan your thoughts. That would be a boundary violation.” I’ve noticed psychically gifted people often invade others’ boundaries by keeping an open psychic channel to read them.  While I may get random “hits” of a person’s exaggerated emotional state like extreme happiness or deep depression, I do not actively scan people unless I’m in a work situation where it is consciously allowed and expected.

I’ve often noticed how easily I slip into other people’s mannerisms, word usage and thought patterns.  The closer or more frequent contact with a person, the more difficult it is to make the distinction: “this is you” and “this is me”. When relationships end, I feel a veil lift that puts me purely in my own energy. I’m often astonished how much my thinking changes when a person leaves my life. I’ve come to realize that much of the relationship’s energy exchange was me mirroring that person’s unexpressed internal dialogue. It can be extremely difficult for a Pisces to leave a relationship because they’ve built an entire identity around the other person.

Physical boundaries are instinctively created, so they are the easiest to reveal. Have you ever noticed when someone walks too close to you that your automatic reflex is to move back? Physical boundaries vary in size depending on the person. It’s like we have a huge invisible bubble surrounding our body and only we know when a person has crossed into our bubble. People who touch us inappropriately or physically hurt us are violating a physical boundary and crossing over into physical abuse. Physical boundaries change with age and with context of the relationship. For example, a one-year-old having their diaper changed has a much different boundary than a 10-year-old being viewed naked. When our physical boundary has been repeatedly transgressed, we tend to ignore our instinctual comfort zone.

People who have been physically assaulted or addiction prone have very weak physical boundaries. The clairvoyant psychic can see holes in the aura where the boundaries have been destroyed. Physical boundaries, along with the aura, can be healed once the person accepts their right to say “no”.

Animals understand the need for physical boundaries and will mark territory and defend if vigorously. When animals come into contact with other animals and humans they use specific body language to define themselves and their physical boundaries. A stranger may walk up to a cat and immediately start to pet it. The cat may hiss for the obvious breach of his boundary. The human may scold the cat as disagreeable when they should be learning this lesson in boundaries.

Sexual boundaries are closely akin to physical boundaries with some slight variations. Sexual expression is as natural to the human being as breathing. As toddlers, we begin with innocent sexual exploration that has no agenda. With sexual maturity, we desire sexual stimulation and activities. A child’s sexual boundary is much broader than an adult’s because of their lack of maturity. Hence, the reason we have child protective sexual abuse laws. Adults’ sexual boundaries are determined by a mutual willingness to engage in sexual activity.

At each stage in the human’s developmental cycle, sexual activities change to match the human’s maturity & desire level. Children living in a boundary-less home may be exposed to: parental sexual activity, pornographic materials, direct sexual intrusion from more mature children and adults, and privacy violations in the natural exploration of their bodies.

Even in this age of “political correctness”, we still have many sexual boundary violations. Most people think a sexual violation involves sexual violence. They do not understand that trash talking about women and men may be a sexual boundary violation. With the explosion of internet dating, much of the adult dating world is littered with sexual boundary violations. Many people use texts and videos to broadcast their sexual availability. When they bombard unseeking, disinterested people with blatant sexual content, they are violating the person’s sexual boundary.

Emotional boundaries define appropriate dialogue between people. Most people understand how to be nice to others. There is an internal soul mechanism that alerts us when we are not following our Inner Guidance toward harmonious interactions. We state our emotional boundaries by the way we allow other people to treat us. If we were raised in an environment that discouraged boundaries, we were taught that we were being “mean” by stating what felt good and bad to us. We were taught to allow others to treat us in any way they chose. We were also taught that other peoples’ needs were more important than our own. Thus, we lose touch with our own feelings and needs. We become hyper aware of what others feel and mold our behavior to please them.

Continual sniping, unconstructive criticism, derogatory, dishonest, betrayal and invasive questioning behavior create a toxic atmosphere of emotional abuse. This type of abuse can be more damaging to the psyche than physical violations because they are not as easily defined. The child receiving this perpetual emotional violation comes to expect and create it with other people.

Regardless of religious preference, we all have spiritual boundaries. A spiritual boundary respects our individual relationship with a higher power. A spiritual boundary allows a person to choose what that relationship is or is not. To guilt, condemn, or frighten a person into a particular spiritual philosophy or religion is a violation of a spiritual boundary. I have religious clients that ask me what my spiritual background is to ensure their personal security. I also have clients who adamantly refuse to talk in any religious context. I honor both sides and adjust my language to match their needs.

The unwillingness to psychically separate from a person physically, mentally, or emotionally is a breach of boundaries to Self and others –even when a relationship is ongoing. This over attachment becomes a parasitical relationship that is unhealthy for the parasite and the host.  We are each born as separate individuals who must learn how to effectively navigate earthly life. This navigation is not concerned with over attachment to other people. Obviously, a small child would require a more constant psychic connection with their parents than a teenager or an adult child. Again, we must look at the context of the evolving relationship and maturity levels of the people involved.

With all this talk about boundaries, we need to briefly review psychic vampires; they do indeed exist. A psychic vampire does not honor physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual boundaries. The interaction is not a healthy give and take expression. The psychic vampire’s primary focus is to absorb as much of your energy as they possibly can to fulfill themselves. Following an interaction with a psychic vampire, you may feel nervous, violated, depressed, angry or anxious. Most psychic vampires are unaware of what they’re doing. However, I have come across people who have told me that they like to “feed” off other people’s energy!  Again, pay attention to how you feel after interactions with people.  If you feel bad each time you intermingle, it may be time to change the company you keep!

Refusal to objectively look at the negative side of people and life

The Neptunian personality, with its ethereal, mystical qualities, prefers to see people and life through beautiful, rose colored, unscarred glasses. It’s the proverbial “ostrich with its head in the sand” solution. They believe what they don’t know can’t possibly hurt them. The Neptune person chooses to ignore unwanted aspects. By ignoring negative, we are not giving this contrast the consideration necessary to shift to a new version. Because I am a teacher of Law of Attraction, I do not advocate harping on negatives; however, I have come to realize that the negative does serve a positive purpose. The key to negativity is to briefly, honestly observe it and then use it as a springboard to focus in the direction of a positive outcome. When we courageously investigate negative manifestations, we understand that we created them and then we can make effort to focus in a new direction.

I recently had a Neptunian personality who thought she had found her perfect soulmate. She had decided that he would be the missing link in her unrealized career dreams. A lover of antiques, she wanted to handle estate sales of wealthy clients. In her new lover, she found a guy who’s mother had been deeply involved in estate sales. So, my client took this as proof that they were meant to be together. Now, for the facts of the situation: this guy was estranged from his wife, had a very traumatic relationship with his mother, and was exhibiting gay tendencies. I pointed all of this out to my client, including, “Do you really think he’d want to be in the same business that his mother was in, knowing that he’d be constantly reminded of painful memories? Do you want him to associate you with his mother?” She was bewildered by my perception and held fast to her dream.

Extremely gifted in creative pursuits and harnessing the imagination

Pisces make beautifully talented artists because they have the purity to tap into higher realms. The most famous works of art are not of this world. They come from another place outside normal human consciousness. In their natural artistic proclivity, Pisces personalities are able to straddle their brain hemispheres and conjoin logic with intuition.

The imagination is actually a purely psychic phenomenon. By consciously directing their imaginations, Pisces are able to tune into other realms, other beings, alternate realities, and alternate versions of self. The imagination, not logic, is our greatest problem solving mechanism.

With their proclivity toward imaginal realms, Pisces temperaments are imbued with a natural magical wand. They are quite adept at creating any dream they can imagine, but they must be willing to acknowledge the negative, harsh, undesirable aspects of their realities and perceptions, first.

Deep mystical connection and understanding of Divine Oneness

The spiritual world is difficult to define and difficult to possess. Likewise, Pisces experiences a vague nebulousness about reality. The Pisces personality lives between realms and feels quite at home in “tween” realities. In addition, Pisces feels their eternal connection to Source energy. They understand that alone-ness is impossible. They know things that the other signs do not innately understand. Thus, Pisces is a superb teacher of enlightenment and mystical experiences.    The Pisces can teach others of their eternal, invisible connection to Source.

11751929_737171019728569_7901442706375100664_n photo courtesy: Pisces Model Kayla Pardue

Innately, Pisces understands the laws of the Universe. This knowing gives them a very deep understanding of Divine and all of its energetic manifestations. It is the Pisces’/Neptunian’s soul growth lesson to shine a light on the path of Oneness and serve as an example of soulful connection. As the Pisces moves into their true spiritual path, they:

  • learn energy shielding and aura cleansing techniques
  • spend alone time, especially near water, to process and recharge
  • journal thoughts and feelings for clarification
  • develop SELF love predominantly, define personal boundaries, and walk away from abuse
  • refuse to escape reality through numbing agents
  • grant others the gift of discovering their personal empowerment
  • determine if relationships and activities add true, healthy value in their lives
  • allow their creativity and imagination to work for them not against them
  • disavow rescue tendencies and interference in other’s soul path experiences
  • serve as spiritual guide in other peoples’ spiritual journeys

Mystical Blessings, Pisces,

Charis Farfalla

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

Exploring the Psychic World


“I am very drawn to spirituality and metaphysics. I really want to learn more. Any suggestions?”

If you’re brand new to these topics and looking to discover your innate talents—I suggest Sonia Choquette’s The Psychic Pathway book. This workbook covers many metaphysical areas that helps you to try on different divining tools and see which one is a comfortable fit for you. Sonia also has a wonderful book, Diary of a Psychic, which is an autobiography of her life.

One of my greatest metaphysical teachers has been Linda Goodman. ALL of her books are applicable to your studies. Star Signs was my very first metaphysical book! It is a magical book that will exhilarate you with possibilities!

My personal friend, Ted Andrews, was also a pioneer in metaphysics. My favorites of his titles:How to See and Read the Aura, Animal Speak, Animal Wise, Enchantment of the Fairy Realm, Simplified Magic, Healing with Color, & You the Healer.

Astrology has always been my first love. The best beginner’s book is Joanne Woolfolk’s The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need. You will need to get a copy of your astrology natal chart to understand the book. Go to and calculate a free natal chart.  Another fabulous tool for learning your astrology chart is Monte Farber’s Karma Cards. I know, the name is misleading, but the deck is divided into 3 sets of cards: planets, signs, and houses. You can lay the cards out to complete a sentence about your astrology chart placements.

Speaking of card decks, I’ve owned numerous decks, simply because I’ve bought so many decks that I did not resonate with and then passed them on to others. When you find a store that displays opened “demo” decks, take advantage of this gift! Go through the cards you find resonance with, hold them, view the images, and notice how you feel about them. Negative or indecisive feelings mean: don’t spend your money on that deck. I strongly advise serious beginner students to start with a Rider Waite deck, (Universal Waite is the most attractive). Why? Because it is the standard tarot deck and most books and tarot websites use Rider Waite depictions. While you’re learning, the Rider Waite version will be the easiest to work with; otherwise, your mind will be jumbled learning card symbolism PLUS transferring images to the Rider Waite equivalent. Simplicity in learning is my motto. Tarot Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis lists all of the possible tarot card keywords. Don’t get caught up in a particular spread style. Take a risk and create your own spread! I do a 4 card spread that reads as a story. My spreads do not necessarily tell past/present/future because my focus is not on predictions, (see more below). I’ve worked with the Celtic Cross spread in the past, I found it to be overkill. Again, I prefer simplicity 🙂

My favorite decks, thus far, have been: Robin Wood Tarot deck, Sulamith Wolfing Lover’s Oracle, (Sulamith was a fantastic German artist who connected to the angel and fairy realm), Inner Child deck, (full of fairy tale depictions), Universal Waite deck, OSHO deck, Karma Cards, Doreen Virtue’s Romance Angel deck, (these come with their own cherubim love angels; you’ll feel them!), Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Guidance Oracle cards, Jamie Sams’ Medicine Cards, and Linda Goodman’s Star Sign deck.

Feng Shui is another one of my tools that I work with simply because our environments are so intertwined in our dream manifestations. Feng Shui involves two main schools of thought: compass and form School. I was certified in form school. Lillian Too’s feng shui books are hands down the best books because she maintains the integrity of the Eastern culture. She combines compass and form school philosophies. The Western Guide to Feng Shui by Tara Kathryn Collins is based in form school and very user-friendly. I received certification through her Western School of Feng Shui.

A word on religious and philosophical thought:I work with religious clients who feel safe knowing that my work has a strong spiritual basis; however, I also have clients who do not desire any religious or spiritual references in our work.

For me, spirituality is a way of life based on values and personal character. My path began with an exploration of the world religions and various branches of Christianity. I now rest without religion, content in the knowing that ALL is divine because energy permeates all things. It is impossibe to ever find separation from Divine. If you would like to broaden your spiritual perspective, some recommended reading: Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, any Neville Goddard book, Abraham Hicks’ Ask and It Is Given and Getting in the Vortex, (with excellent meditation CD), books by Joseph Campbell, and for the scientifically minded student, read the deep channeled concepts of Jane Roberts in Seth Speaks and Nature of Personal Reality.

While much of my spirituality & psychic phenomenon have been intuitively understood; I did appreciate a solid scientific explanation as discussd in the quantum physics movies: “What the Bleep” and “What the Bleep? Down the Rabbit Hole Quantum Edition”.

If money is currently tight, take advantage of your local library. Many of these recommendations will be found there.

Above all, trust your Inner Guidance to lead you toward your natural gifts and preferred learning method. If a particular teacher or subject feels “off” to you, move away from it. In the beginning, I was very hungry for knowledge and looking for a guide; I found myself in some very dangerous psychic territory. Power-hungry people are drawn to these arts; trust your instincts!

I received a call from a new student who said she had considered studying her innate psychic gifts but was warned by her potential teacher that she would need to encounter “scary things”.  I’m grateful that she trusted her intuition and passed on that particular teacher. I cannot imagine uncovering scary things– unless you’re dabbling in darker energies that are better left alone.

Mystical Empress offers workshops and private classes to clients.  Please go to workshops and classes section on website.

What is your experience & background in this work?

I began a serious pursuit of metaphysics at the age of 17. I was passionately consumed with the desire to know more, mainly to understand myself better. I lived in the South, right on the cusp of the internet explosion, so, much of my learning was self-taught through devouring as many metaphysical books as I could find. Much of my passion was kept secret because as word eventually got out, I was accused of being a “devil worshiper”.

As I learned my own astrology natal chart, I found a packed 8th house and knowledge of being a High Priestess in Atlantis and Greece. Although I was adopted, I found that my maternal grandmother was born on an Oklahoma Cherokee reservation. I’ve uncovered many past lives in this work, and I suspect that I have a long line of gifted ancestors.

I followed my natural bliss excelling in the divining tools of astrology, tarot, feng shui, automatic writing channeling and psychology. I received my Feng Shui Certification through the Western School of Feng Shui and then went on to achieve my Masters degree in Metaphysics, following Sonia Choquette’s lead. I will most likely complete my Doctorate degree, also.

For 16 years, I’ve worked with clients seeking direction in their lives. I’ve created multiple, unique services that apply Law of Attraction and quantum physics principles.

I’m not understanding what a life coach does? What’s the difference in personal classes and life coaching?

My clients come to me from all walks of life: interior decorators, business owners, yoga teachers, psychics, school teachers, writers, students, married couples, teenagers, accountants, artists… among others. They arrive feeling stuck or confused in their lives. They seek powerful, positive new direction. Through discussion, I discover what their dreams are; what they wish to achieve in their lives. I then offer self-empowering guidance and specific quantum physics and law of attraction exercises that teach my clients how to shift direction and direct their personal energy toward their true intentions. We learn to stop unconsciously directing energy toward unwanted outcomes.

Oftentimes, a client begins as a private student and then evolves into a life coaching client.  Private classes teach you how to learn your innate psychic skills and deepen your awareness of energy fields. Life Coaching works toward manifesting a specific personal goal or dream. Life Coaching often begins with an obstacle or problem in your current life experiences.  I do include psychic skills in the life coaching process.  Oftentimes, a client begins as a private student and then evolves into a life coaching client.

I’ve never had a psychic reading before.  Do you have any suggestions?

I strongly suggest that you trust your instincts in choosing a psychic. We each have our specialized skills and approaches to readings. I personally do not perform predictive readings. The only moment that matters to me is NOW because this is where your creative power exists. My entire purpose in my work is to empower people to deliberately create their lives as they desire– from this moment forward. I‘ve found that when a person is told of a future possible reality, they stop deliberately creating what they choose that future to be. I do not choose to etch my clients’ destiny in stone; rather, I intend to be the Guide who lights their way!

In addition, I advise that you calm your mind and center yourself before your reading. I get hysterical clients, and their energy makes it difficult to get a pure reading on the topic. Also, chaotic energy creates obstacles that separate you from your desired outcome and make you closed off from solutions.

Before your session, cleanse your aura with any of the following:

  • Smudge your entire body, front and back with Sacred Sage or Frankincense/Myrrh
  • Bathe with Epson/sea salts
  • Wash your face, arms and legs in baking powder, (aluminum free)

I’m fascinated with psychic readings, but I’m terrified I’ll be told I’m going to die! What if the “Death” card comes up in the reading?

.I find this to be the biggest concern of newbies to psychic readings. First, as with all professions, there are people who stand in integrity and there are those who do not. Research your reader. Do they feel good to you? Do they feel dramatic and sensational in their approach? A responsible reader wouldn’t ever give you a death prediction,(even IF they could see it)! A quality reader empowers you; they do not terrify you and make you feel powerless.  My concern is that the client would be so terrified of the prediction that they’d attract a negative episode following the reading.

You must understand that a reading is ever only a snapshot in time. It’s like going to the doctor for a blood pressure test. You wouldn’t get hung up on one blood pressure reading, would you? Your doctor would advise you on how to shift the reading for a better outcome. Psychic readings show possible outcomes based on the energy field you are currently carrying. There are many possible paths in any single life. If the current possible outcome isn’t to your liking, you simply shift the energy path you’re on. In my readings, I gently guide clients with energy shifting tools. In my work, the guidance offered is more important than the actual card reading.

The “Death” card is about major change coming into your life. Doors are closing; endings are taking place. I liken this card to a rose bush that is in desperate need of pruning. The bush has lots of deadwood, (things that no longer promote growth), and by pruning away the deadwood, we see an upsurge of new growth, which always follows the death card. Personally, I love knowing that I’m not stuck in a rut and that my life is moving forward! Don’t you?

What is your approach to psychic readings?

Readings are a tool to determine a client’s current energy field. This field reveals a possible set of outcomes. If these outcomes are undesirable, no problem, we shift them!

I offer 3 types of readings:

Tarot Card Readings: I pull from three decks, a blend of oracle and tarot card sets for each reading. The variety of cards gives me a big picture of the client’s current energy field. If the reading shows unwanted energies, I guide my client with quantum energy shifting techniques.

Automatic Writing Readings: through automatic writing, I channel your guides, angels, higher self, and ancestors to receive higher level, uniquely personal, information for clients. These readings are like love notes from the higher realm. They offer powerful guidance because no earthly human knows you as well as your Higher Self.

Astrology Chart Readings: I review the birth, transits, and progressed astrology chart trends for specific energy patterns to answer client questions.

My psychic skills give me the ability to accurately read the energy around my client. I am an adept at molding energy toward specific manifestation. Therefore, I give my clients an accurate picture of their current energy and then I offer specific, quantum energy molding techniques to help them create their intentions. My readings shift energy. My clients often speak of the shift they feel during our reading sessions. 🙂

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

Have fun in your studies,

Charis Farfalla

The Fool and the Precipice


Radiant Rider Waite image

The Fool and the Precipice
Major Life Changes

8 years ago, I found myself looking over the edge of a precipice wondering–shall I jump?  I was in acting school at the time, and Roger, a fellow thespian in NY, talked to me about the choice. We discussed the Fool tarot card, which happens to be one of my favorite cards. It shows an innocent, child-like, (and perhaps naive), person joyfully skipping along a path when he (unknowingly?) comes to the edge of a cliff.  Yipping at his feet is his loyal dog, who barks to alert him of his next step.  We, the audience, are left to wonder–does he stop fast in his tracks or does he tumble to his death or…? The thought of such a momentous, life altering risk was very appealing to me because I do love challenges and the abyss of unknowing.

The rest of my time in NYC was spent reflecting on my life. I knew I had spent many years learning and honing my knowledge of the Universal Laws of Life. I had laboriously studied the secrets of creating miracles from nothingness. I came to know how important personal freedom was to me. And given my current life situation back in Louisiana, I could very well see what the next 10, if not 20 years, of my life would bring–if I did not make a radical change.  Uranus, planet of sudden changes, was traveling through my 1st House/Ascendant Sign, natal astrology chart house of self-identity, personality, and the way we view the world.  Uranus commanded: “Get out of this stagnant rut!!! Your life is CALLING!”

So, I jumped! The “jump” was out of a stagnant life that was literally sucking the energy out of my Beingness. I’m not going to say the jump was easy because any time we face the unknown there are always wild card variables involved. It takes a great deal of courage & initiative to rock a steady, secure, ship even when that ship is sailing to an undesirable destination.  And yes, the jump landed me to my death.  I wandered aimlessly between worlds for 3 years until I left Louisiana.  As I moved to Colorado, a brand new life that supported all the years of study sprung forth.  All that came before was washed away, and the new fulfilled my dreams.

During the 3 years of uncertain nomadic life, I’d tell people that I was in the funnel of a tornado that had not touched down yet.  I received a call from one of my best friends, a Native American, affectionately known as Silver Haired Wolf, who spoke the most wonderful words to me. He said, “You are a Woman of the Earth who brings to life that which lies dormant.” And it was true. As a life coach working with people who appear “stuck”, I oftentimes bring things to life and to light, things that are unknown and lying dormant in the souls of others. Yet, many of us fear the death, forgetting rebirth always follows death.  We continue to repeat people & situations in our life because we restrict our focus to the past. And what we focus upon, we manifest into our future experience. We only appear to be “stuck” when in reality we are continuing the same patterns over and over.

From The Power of Now, speaks Eckhart Tolle of his life:

“I have little use for the past, and I rarely think about it.”

How often do we cling to people, things, beliefs, & memories to keep alive the stagnant past? Do we do this to maintain our identities? Do we do this to avoid change and growth by stubbornly holding on when surrender is what is needed? No matter, Death always comes knocking. It is only when we fight, “fight the dying light” that the natural process of death becomes painful. I liken endings to a rose bush.  Dead wood must be pruned away to allow for new growth; otherwise the entire bush declines and Death eventually takes what was not offered freely.

At the beginning of my work with a new life coach client, I give them a questionnaire to complete.  The questions are designed to give me insight in guiding them, but most importantly, the questions cause them to think and commit themselves to the work ahead. I chuckle when these clients are miserable in their current situation and they arrive at the question: “Are you willing to release long held patterns/beliefs in favor of replacing them with more productive, (to your goals), patterns & beliefs?”   Ironically, they stop. They hedge their bets. They answer: “Yes, Maybe, Yes”.   I then remind them that their current beliefs and patterns landed them at my door!

The mythological Phoenix represents the cycles of birth–death–and rebirth. In Native American tradition, the Phoenix becomes the Golden Eagle. The Eagle flies into the Sun to burn away all that was, to die. Then he dips himself into water three times to be reborn into the new, the present, The Now.  However, this new life cannot be granted without the surrender of all that was.As all mythology speaks to the deep, core part of the human psyche, we come to realize that death is but a step in the process of evolvement, and so the Fool plunges; he plunges deep into the abyss for another cycle of death and eventual rebirth.

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

To exciting new adventures,

Charis Farfalla

Gaia’s Mirror


Artwork Josephine Wall

“Gaia’s Mirror” (a Mystical Empress client letter)

You are the maternal energy we seek.  We begin searching for you before we emerge into the earth plane.  As we learn from our birth mothers what they contracted to teach us, these life lessons often urge us to seek a clearer mirror for Gaia’s maternal energy, one who gently nurtures and teaches self-nurturing and finally, self-expression.  As true seeds awakened to life, the gift of alchemy prompts new seedlings to embrace the energy of frustration and recognize it as fuel to propel us to seek higher maternal energy.  This transmutation of energy is an essential exercise in the lifetime of all on this planet.

The womb of Gaia, or seedbed, is always in darkness or the unseen.  This darkness is the creative force that inspires the seedling to ascend where paternal energy imparts air and sunlight adding color and visible form.  The roots remain in mother earth gathering growth potential from the rich dark side of light.  This true maternal energy’s only purpose is giving love.

With thanksgiving I recognize you as a true maternal energy.  You mirror Gaia’s vision perfectly.  There is never any accusation or admonition in your guidance, only encouragement and excitement for my vision to express beyond limits.  You patiently lead me to consider my options.  You say to me, “Now,Shirley, what about this….?” with motherly gentleness.  You always sense my energy fingerprint and speak to me from there, not your own.  You speak life, then release me to higher realms of possible manifestations to paint the music of the spheres! My dear friend, there is no way to give number to the children you have birthed,nurtured, and released to mirror back to all creation the beauty and grace of Gaia.  May this truth be your constant companion.



Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

Alpha Females Seeking Loving Relationships


Athena Warrior Goddess

Alpha women are powerful, beautiful, confident, successful and…..leaders.  Life made them that way. Perhaps they were required to grow up much too early. Some even endured trauma.  Maybe they chose to be entrepreneurs or work in the corporate world. Whatever the motivating principle, alpha women made a choice to take life by the horns and steer it in the direction they chose.

Being a leader requires initiative, courage, and well, a little bit of bossiness.  Unfortunately, many of the traits alpha women have developed aren’t really suitable for relationships with the opposite sex.  You see, alpha women seek strong alpha males, and these males will NOT be led or bossed.  It’s really not her fault, she’s just always found herself to be the most competent person around.  She’s taken complete responsibility for so long that she has no idea how to share responsibility or walk beside anyone else.

In the alpha female’s aggressive pursuit of goals, she may be labeled a “controlling bitch” by other, less dominating personalities. As alpha female myself, I began life as the “bossy” kid.  I had very clear goals, and I knew how to take decisive action to reach them.  In adulthood, I went on to form my own businesses.  While the alpha position awarded me friends, opportunities and business success, it wasn’t a blessing to my love relationships.  It took me 8 years of being single that I came into my understanding of this alpha female mystique.

As a single female weaving through the digital age of dating, I noticed that I had a very definitive pattern in romance. I’d pull tarot card readings on my love life, and I’d invariably pull the Queen of Swords.  I’d moan, “Not AGAIN! What am I doing wrong?” The Queen of Swords tarot card represents a woman alone;  an alone, “ball busting” woman.  The pattern didn’t stop there.  I continuously attracted non-committal males who enjoyed passionate exchanges and MANY power struggles with me.  If they weren’t abstaining from sex, they were refusing commitment.  In every scenario, one thing remained the same: the male was in control.  I also found that each paramour had the same background: an uber dominant mother.

Interestingly, many males who are attracted to alpha women were raised in families where the mother was a dominant and controlling force in the family. So, he sees the alpha female lover and is at once, intrigued and threatened by her power.  For, he has learned that the female principle is uber powerful and capable of giving and taking life.  The problem with this scenario, however, is the emasculated, unconscious male tries to heal the earlier wound of mother by winning back his power and masculinity.  This dynamic creates many power struggles within adult relationships.  He may use emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual abuse against the alpha female to make her feel powerless so that he may avoid feelings of insecurity and abandonment.

Another dysfunctional style of relating that the alpha female finds herself is with a passive, male who succumbs to her power.  In this relationship, the male often withdraws sexually as he feels emasculated by her dominance.  Her uber need to be in control turns her mate into a child asking, “Mother may I?” .  She wonders why she has to take care of everyone while no one is taking care of her.  However, she can’t be parent and lover to her mate.

In my psychic based life coaching business, Mystical Empress, I guide people beyond their personal energy blocks toward the fulfillment of their dreams. During psychic readings and life coach sessions, I’m astonished to find a multitude of women clients who are struggling with what I call, “Alpha Female Mystique”.  They don’t need advice on how to run their careers.  They have that project already wrapped in a nice, tidy little package.  The only area of life they need guidance is in relationships.  What they long for is a compatible love relationship.  They too experience lots of power struggles and caretaking of their lovers.  It’s a delicate balancing act for the Alpha female to take guidance from anyone else.  However, by the time she sees me, she’s very aware that something significant must change for her to achieve her ever- illusive dream of love.  The pain has brought her to the beautiful, feminine space of surrender.


Aphrodite Goddess of Love & Harmony 

Alpha women often forget they chose the gender of female in this lifetime.  Feminine energy is soft, creative and receptive, the opposite of masculine which is hard, destructive and aggressive.  Obviously there are warrior females, such as Athena, but take note: Athena was also a virgin goddess, (read– no lover).  She was operating from her masculine side.   As a woman, the archetype we are seeking for our love relationships is the goddess, Aphrodite, who was the epitome of grace, harmony, and love.

If you are choosing a heterosexual, harmonious relationship, it’s time to embrace the feminine, Aphrodite side of your nature.  Alpha females interpret those words to mean: “I must become weak”.  NO, that is absolutely NOT what I’m suggesting.  You will still be an alpha female, but you will soften your edges somewhat and create your relationship desires in a much different way.  You are used to seeing masculine energy as powerful because it pushes to get things done.  When you push in relationship, you actually push it away.  Alternatively, feminine energy is actually more powerful  and gets more accomplished because it follows the Law of Attraction principles.

Law of Attraction means exactly that!  Energy flows in the direction of the receptive, receiving principle.  As you become a magnet to your desires, they will naturally flow into you.  This new way of being will be a much calmer, less stressful way of life for you.  An old movie comes to mind, “Baby Boom” in which an uber alpha female, Diane Keaton, trades in her NYC corporate corner office to become a mom, raising an orphan on a farm in rural Vermont.  Through many trials, our alpha heroine, eventually surrenders to her more vulnerable feminine side and finds a mate who supports and nurtures her alpha personality.

I  often find alpha females to be suffering from depression and chronic diseases.  As Louise Hay suggests, “The body like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs…continuous modes of thinking and speaking produce body behaviors and postures and “eases” or dis-eases.”  When we are operating against our own true nature, we become imbalanced physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Feminine Approach to Relationship

  • Allows the man to pursue her
  • Takes a receptive/magnetic stance to her male counterpart
  • Seeks harmony and compromise, a win/win approach
  • Shares her affection and sexuality as an act of love, not bartering
  • Allows the man to lead or walk beside
  • Treats the man as a man, not as her child to raise
  • Shows nurturing and support as a lover
  • Respects a man’s biology of needing space to recharge his batteries
  • Respects a man’s ability to be an equal partner without criticizing and nagging him

Woman’s Masculine Approach to Relationship

(not to be misinterpreted as how a man would approach a woman in relationship; this is only woman’s misuse of the masculine energy principle).

  • Chases the man as a goal to be won
  • Takes an aggressive, active stance toward her partner
  • Creates right/wrong situations
  • Withholds sex and affection as a weapon or bartering tool
  • Leads and directs the man in all areas, including his own personal choices
  • Controls the man, treating him like a child
  • Offers caretaking and problem solving as a parent
  • Challenges, fights, and guilts the man when he seeks his personal space
  • Treats the man as inferior to her superiority by ridicule and chastisement

Every relationship is a mirror of who you are at any given moment.  If you’d like to argue the point, take a look at your relationship history.  See a pattern?  Why do you think you continue to attract similar men or similar situations? Instead of casting the blame on the men, (which isn’t going to fix anything), look at your own reflection.  The sooner you take responsibility for these creations, the quicker you can move into your ideal relationship.  One thing is guaranteed: as you shift yourself, you will begin attracting different men and different relationships.

ALPHA, I have complete faith you can learn to move into a more feminine, balanced approach to relationship and attract your ideal love.  Why? Because I know you are masterful at achieving your goals. 🙂

Mystical Love Blessings to YOU Alpha Woman,

Charis Farfalla

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

Post Traumatic Stress: The Invisible Cage


A dear friend of mine endured a life threatening traumatic accident, which left her a completely different person.  While she understood the trauma’s physical evidence of scarring & body rehabilitation, she was shocked by the mental and emotional aftermath of the accident. She began reacting to neutral events as a frightened, panicked young woman. She could not understand why innocuous events triggered her fight/flight survival instincts. She felt trapped in an invisible cage.

Each time we experience a highly charged emotional event, our minds create a fibrous network called a neuro net, which literally wires the memory into our brains. Whenever stimuli trigger a neuro net, we go right back to that memory and superimpose it onto the current reality. While the current episode may have nothing in common with the original sponsoring event, we will experience the present in such a way that filters out all evidence contrary to the original event. It does not matter if the current trigger in any way resembles the past details. What’s more, each time we re-live the memory, the neuro net strengthens and dumps hormones relevant to the emotional release, such as adrenalin in the case of fear. Thus, the body learns to crave the hormonal dump. We become encircled by an invisible cage of: emotion–> thought–> trigger–>neuro net–>hormone. The emotion is ever lying dormant, yet it is attracting a trigger to bring it into full expression. As the emotion is fully felt and expressed, the neuro net is activated with a corresponding hormonal dump.

It is my belief that post traumatic stress is woven into a specific neuro net that creates an essentially different person. The event, meant as a spiritual initiation into a new life, becomes a check point where a life altering decision is made: Person A may translate a fearful event into a courageous, self-empowered life path, while person B may translate the trauma into a struggle- for- survival life approach. For person A, the neuro net will be designed to dump Dopamine as a reward for confident, fearless thoughts and actions. Person B may create a neuro net that dumps Adrenalin for fearful, panicked thoughts and actions. Over time, both neuro nets function to support  Person A & Person B’s expectations.

The implications here are far reaching when it comes to Law of Attraction. We manifest what we intently focus upon. If we get caught up in a biological compulsion toward specific emotional/hormonal expressions, doesn’t that mean we will create a pattern in our manifestations? And if we switch out of a non productive neuro net, aren’t we then free to move into more desirable self empowered manifestations?

As I endured life threatening trauma in early childhood, I’ve spent much of my life studying and seeking relief from post traumatic stresses. To share what I had learned, I became a teacher and writer of self empowerment and personal growth.  While I strongly advise a licensed therapist to aid in the psychological healing of such wounds. I also encourage spiritually based work to energetically shift one beyond restrictive patterns.

Learn more about Psychic, Life Coach, Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader and Feng Shui Consultant Mystical Empress at

In Peace & Well-Being,

Charis Farfalla